Onodera is the Perfect Waifu…and THAT’s the Problem

When I first watched Nisekoi, the series that ended up becoming my all-time favorite manga, the first thing I thought was honestly how great all of the girls are. The energetic and headstrong Kirisaki Chitoge, the badass Tsugumi Seishirou, the determined and passionate Tachibana Marika, so on and so on. They all were so amazing and enjoyable to watch in their own way, but of all of them, only one struck a chord with me.

Only one was who I considered best girl.

She’s nice, caring, clumsy, modest, and in general just a joy to watch. From the moment she enters the scene and every moment that she’s in, there’s something about her that draws my attention towards her, and it seems it’s not just me. Even in-universe, Onodera is referred to as the goddess of the class, so pure and innocent that everyone who sees her desires her yet also wants to protect her. She’s shy yet willing to do whatever she can to help a friend and tries as hard as she can when put to the test. She’s possibly, and most likely intentionally, presented to us as the perfect waifu…and that’s the problem.

For all of the praise that she gets from her fellow classmates, there are still those who worry about her. While she herself doesn’t have any flaws that could pose a problem for others, her friends and family will point out that continuing to act the way she has won’t do her any good. They know that she can do more, that she can improve, but Kosaki seems to not want to change, or rather…that she’s far more comfortable where she’s at.

And in Nisekoi, this story of girls fighting to grab the heart of the one they love by challenging that which holds them back, Onodera Kosaki’s story is that of a girl who was given a role to fulfill, a role that she has to learn to break out of.

I must once again preface this by explaining why roles and destiny play such a huge role in the story of Nisekoi. Aside from its influences from fiction, anywhere from the Prince and the Pauper to its obvious influence, Romeo and Juliet, the core of the story is centered around Zawsze in Love, the children’s story that created the lock and keys that the players in our tale have staked their feelings on. It’s a story that details the love between a boy and a girl bound by a promise in a locket that the boy wears around his neck, one day destined to be married to the promised girl who held the key, a story that influenced Raku in his childhood to form the same promise with a girl whose face he couldn’t remember, a girl who was his first love and represented a childish dream that he clung to, symbolized by the locket he still wears around his neck.

Similarly, his first love that he holds a connection to, not merely in memory, is his crush on Kosaki Onodera, who he met in middle school and kept up a friendship with till the beginning of the story. A crush that, unbeknownst to him, was mutual. It’s a close enough relationship where they can talk to each other every day and see each other, but with enough distance where they can admire each other from afar. They both had intentions of confessing their love…eventually, but that would compromise the distance, that comfort. The idea of a confession that might result in rejection threatened to end the relationship that brought joy to their lives. Removing the risk and simply saying “maybe someday” was enough for both of them. Staying trapped in that fantasy was good enough. 

In a previous video, I discussed the idea that Nisekoi’s story is that of love, and how true love separates itself from a childish crush because it forces two people to change and expose their feelings regardless of shame and the risk of pain, because love is an connection that is just as painful as it is wonderful. The very action takes risk from both parties and even the possibility that it will only result in rejection, but regardless that love should be honest, not just to the target of that love but also to the one who expresses it. It requires honesty and a willingness to change oneself. This is important to recall because this is a major conflict for every character within the story of Nisekoi. Whether aware or not, the girls that came into contact with Ichijou Raku ended up falling in love with him, yet each of them had something that prevented them from expressing that love. Chitoge and Tsugumi unknowingly fell in love with Raku yet denied it either from a failure to understand that it was love that they felt or from a personal barrier that prevented them from acknowledging those feelings. Haru had a fantasy in her head until she recognized that her feelings were for him, yet denied them out of consideration for her sister. Yui acknowledged those feelings, yet denied them due to her desire to hang onto the last familial connection she had left. Marika pursued them full of passion, yet changed who she was, and lied about what was paining her out of consideration for Raku.

But Onodera, out of all of these girls, was different. While unknowingly, her feelings that she held towards Raku were mutual. They were both in love with each other yet the only thing holding them back was not a lie, not consideration but one thing and one thing alone: fear of abandoning the comfort of distance. Her desire to be by his side was not enough to overpower the fear of what changing that relationship would mean. It’s not as if she didn’t try. She studied as hard as she could to get into the same school as him despite her grades and skills in academics lacking, but it was effort that was only in service of keeping that distance the same. Going to different schools would mean that they wouldn’t see each other. Being apart meant that they couldn’t greet each other in the morning and say goodbye at the end of the day. Failing meant risking comfort, so she tried as hard as she could to keep it. But notice every time one of her confessions fails, she’s disappointed yet relieved. The confession didn’t go through, but she was fine with that because failing meant one more day to spend in that distance that she finds such warmth in. Effort that exists only to maintain a status quo; to admire and love from a distance.

One thing that Onodera does not share amongst the other girls vying for Raku’s affection are any notable flaws. Tsugumi was raised to fundamentally reject the female side of herself, and as such reacts to every feeling of attraction she has with violence and anger. She wants to be more feminine but doesn’t see herself as fit to be such. As such, every interaction she has with Raku ends up being violent, and Raku is intent to point this out. Marika, while being doting and loyal, is obsessive, pushy, loud and intrusive. She goes too far, so much so that it sometimes betrays how she really feels, something that Raku once again attempts to fix. Haru is overprotective yet sacrifices her own feelings for the sake of her sister, something Raku helps her to get over. Similarly, Yui is quick to push these feelings down as well, yet Raku wanted her to remember that she should see the bonds she has around her–that she’s not and never was alone. And most notably, Kirisaki Chitoge is someone Raku can’t stand. Everything about her he outright rejects, even going so far as to deny her beauty just because he finds her irritating. Yet over and over again, he helps her to improve. The only one he does not try to help improve is Onodera. She’s clumsy, but that’s cute so it’s fine. She’s shy, but that’s also cute so it’s fine. She’s quick to put others first, but that’s seen as admirable. The biggest and most obvious example is the Old Maid game. Both Chitoge and Kosaki have the exact same inability to have a poker face, but while Raku sees Onodera’s as something adorable that he’s willing to overlook, he immediately comments on Chitoge’s. She wants to improve her shyness, get better at her cooking that she fails at, but no one tells her that she should. There’s no reason to because even with those flaws, she’s still an ideal. Why is it that Onodera is seen as being perfect despite having these glaring issues?

There is this idea in Japanese culture of the “ideal Japanese woman” known as the “yamato nadeshiko.” The traits that are desired from one who is ideal are gentleness, femininity, devotion to their husbands, a reserved nature, that she never opposes him and is reminiscent of a flower. Onodera, while being clumsy, is still seen as cute because clumsiness is often perceived as a “cute” trait. Her shyness is seen as being reserved, and since she doesn’t like to speak her mind often, this aspect is emphasized, especially when you take into account her tendency to put others first. Onodera’s flaws are simply things that can be overlooked, because they all fit into who Raku searches for: the ideal girl. The yamato nadeshiko. These traits aren’t exclusive to the ideal Japanese woman, because they’re also traits we commonly associate with princesses. Snow White, Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, the Little Mermaid, and so many others star princesses that are gentle, devoted, kind and sweet. All of these traits are the ideal and all of them are held by Onodera Kosaki…as if she’s straight out of a fairy tale. And, as it’s revealed who the promised girl is, she might as well be. Because the one who held the key to Raku’s heart all along was none other than the ideal girl he was already in love with.

From the beginning, Onodera was living a fairy tale. Bound by a promise from childhood and reunited through fate and falling in love with the same boy all over again, Onodera and Raku were always bound to each other. He already liked her and she already liked him. There was no reason for her to have to try harder than any of the others because the one she loved was already convinced that he was in love with and could only love her. Always repeating over and over again “I love Onodera.” “I love no one else other than Onodera”. Even when she brought him to her family’s business, her mom told him that the two of them should marry and that together they would be able to work well, him creating the sweets and her decorating. To be by his side. It was the role she was given, her victory practically handed to her on a silver platter…but is that really fine? Is that what she really wants?

There’s this moment where Onodera is trying to decide what her future is, what it is exactly that she wants to do. The only thing she seems to want is that she would be happy taking over her family’s business and being by Raku’s side. But other than that, there’s no real ambition. By the time Nisekoi reaches the reveal of the promised girl, everyone has an ambition; a goal that they can reach. Each of them is forced to change who they are, some of them change just for the sake of having Raku by their side, but each and every one of them comes to a very important conclusion: while they loved him and they desired his love, they didn’t need him. Tsugumi had eventually become comfortable with the feminine side of herself and decided of her own volition that she wasn’t going to live solely by following orders but for her own sake. Marika gained her freedom and proclaimed to her mom that she didn’t need to be trapped anymore, and went searching for a man she could love more than she ever loved Raku. Yui was able to come to terms with her position, realizing that she was far from alone, and even when she got rejected, that bond wouldn’t disappear. Haru finally decided to do things for herself, and upon realizing her feelings, she was able to move on from the prince that she kept pursuing. The only one who did not change, who could not change in pursuing Ichijou Raku was Onodera Kosaki.

Nisekoi asserts many things about love, but the one thing it asserts is that love forces two individuals to change from the stagnant person that they are and move. It asserts that love is when one person needs another. Onodera’s love for Raku and vice versa was as strong as the love that grew between him and Chitoge. But that’s what’s important–it grew. If Onodera represents the ideal Japanese girl, then Chitoge represents everything but ideal. She’s loud, brutish, easy to anger, always speaks her mind, yet every chance she gets, she tries to improve. She makes an entire notebook keeping track of the personalities and little trivia bits of everyone in her class just so she can make friends. She changes her ribbon just to get Raku’s attention. Once she realizes that she loves him, she tries as hard as she can to come to terms with the feelings that she has. She has all of these futures laid out for her, but she tries as hard as she can for the one that she wants. The only thing standing in Chitoge’s way was simply that she thought she wasn’t worthy…because there was someone there who already was from the beginning.

Onodera already had Raku’s heart, even back when they were children. She was the one he gave the key to his heart, yet every single girl clung to the things that Raku superficially said he liked and changed themselves to fit that. Raku liked long hair, so Marika grew hers out. He liked the ribbon that the girl in Zawsze in Love had, so Chitoge wore the ribbon. But again, the only one who didn’t change and Raku didn’t find anything she needed to change was Onodera. Because why would she? She’s the ideal. She’s the promised girl. Yet…is settling for that role good enough?

If there’s anything that Onodera wanted to change about herself, it’s that she wanted to be more assertive, and Ruri pointed that out to her. Ruri was one of the only people who saw what was going on–that Raku loved Onodera and she loved him back, and every time she had a chance, Ruri pushed Kosaki to come out of her shell. She had everything laid out for her, the only thing holding her back was that shyness, that fear of stepping out of her comfort. That was literally all that stood in her way, because everything else she had in the bag. He was obsessed with her, so all she needed to do to get what she wanted, all she needed to do to win was simply say:

I. Love. You.

By the end of the series, every other girl had confessed their love and got rejected. They threw their feelings forth with everything that they had, and every one of them felt the pain of rejection. But they were free. They changed who they were, reaching a state of change to where they had the confidence to express those feelings. Every single one of them were able to reach forward, make one more step. But not Kosaki. And what hurts the most is that that’s all she had to do. One more step. Three words. She couldn’t do it until it was already too late.

Raku had fallen in love with someone else.

His feelings for Chitoge had grown. Everything about her is an imperfection, the opposite of the yamato nadeshiko, even down to the fact that Chitoge was only half-Japanese. Everything about her represents conflict, but change can only exist with pain and honesty. Chitoge had created this feeling that was different than the standstill love that had always existed to the point that it overwrote the fairy tale. Chitoge wasn’t even the promised girl, she was nothing but a fake. But that fake created a relationship and kept fighting despite how much fate was against her.

Onodera was too late. If only one month more, one more second, she would have won. Fate already dictated it as such. She was his crush. She spent every day with him and knew everything about him. She had a bond that made them inseparable. She was the princess, the heroine of this fairy tale from the very beginning. The only thing she was missing was confidence, and the moment she gathered up the courage to surpass her shy and reserved self, she was rejected. He didn’t love her like he loved Chitoge. He couldn’t, because the love that he felt was just that great.

In the locket that he held onto for so long, he found a question:

“Do you still love me?”

The fairy tale had always been there. Those feelings were the same even then, even locked away, even across all that time. Neverchanging. But his answer was no. And finally, she was free.

Her feelings ended in rejection, but she finally had the confidence that she wanted for so long. Being with Raku would mean always being at his side. Again, she couldn’t cook without anyone’s help but she wanted to get better. Being with Raku would mean that she would always be stuck simply decorating, never taking control by herself. But the greatest example of this change, the greatest symbol of her freedom was the massive wedding cake that she made for her friends, something she was capable of on her own, with her own efforts and her own hands. Her life wasn’t a fairy tale anymore, it was more than that.

Through imperfection and failure, she finally was able to grow.